And to think, all I'd been looking forward to was a dinner of spinach and apple juice. Notice I've refrained from using the phrase "Granny Smith juice." Yeah. I know you guys.
In the same Time Out there was an article about a thirty two-year old New Yorker who up and quit her financial consulting job to join the circus. Just up and quit. How very Noah Baumbach. In the article, the circus girl says that lots of her friends are doing the same thing; that there's a lawyer who quit to become a florist.
Alright! I think I'm going to do this, too! Let's see...I've always wanted a holistic pet therapy center that I run out of the house that Diane Keaton moves to in Baby Boom. You know, the one where she gets to canoodle Sam Shepard. Wait—did she canoodle him in the house or at his veterinarian practice? I can't remember, but clearly you can see why I love this movie.
First, I'll quit my job. Next, I'll sell all my IKEA furniture. That should rake in enough for a welcome mat. I'll subsist on wild grass and cardboard until things get rolling. Malcolm, of course, will still eat Purina One in cans because if I don't give him that he'll pee on my cardboard. And I'm going for more of an alkaline diet.
In the springtime I'll catch wild trout with my teeth and Malcolm and I will grow our own papyrus, which we'll use to create flyers. Our farm neighbor, Potus, will drive us into town (I'll have to sell my car to pay for the papyrus seeds) to distribute the flyers and before you know it—boom! I'll be a holistic pet therapist dating a Pulitzer Prize winning playwright!
How hard can it be?
Idiots.
New Thing This Week: Twin Peaks via Amazon Prime. Better late than never. And dear mystery sender: thank you!
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